My head hits the pillow and the sun comes up.
Estimated time: 36 seconds.
Wasn't I just sitting in front of this laptop while providing periodic updates on Chris Tillman's march toward his no-hitter? I'm pretty sure these are the same clothes.
OK, now we've entered dangerous territory. Let's move on.
Many congrats to Tillman, who has turned around his season in dramatic and historic fashion.
I always say, if you're going to put together back-to-back quality starts, always make the second one a no-hitter. I'm thinking of getting it tattooed on my thigh.
Tillman gave up nine runs and 17 hits in his first three starts covering only 9 2/3 innings. I contacted John Stockstill, the Orioles' director of player development, to make sure Tillman wasn't hurt after the right-hander lasted only one inning on April 18.
There's nothing wrong with Tillman.
He's allowed three runs and seven hits over his last two starts covering 17 innings - all the damage, of course, coming in Friday's outing. He's walked one and struck out 11.
Tillman threw Norfolk's first no-hitter since Dave Telgheder in 1992.
Now that's a guy you should hang with in any parking lot at any sporting event.
Combine Tillman's performances with the two-fisted beatings Jake Arrieta is giving Triple-A hitters and Brad Bergesen's encouraging start on Sunday, and you get excited about the cavalry all over again.
This rebuilding project won't take hold if the young pitching is a bust. Plain and simple. It starts with the starters.
Give me Brian Matusz, Tillman, Bergesen and Arrieta, and let everyone else fight it out. The more the merrier.
By the way, no truth to the rumor that Yankees manager Joe Girardi is tired of Tillman throwing no-hitters.
He's definitely tired of Jeremy Guthrie throwing at his hitters, though the right-hander says it isn't intentional. It just works out that way.
"I'm frustrated by it," Girardi said. "I wish he had better command in there."
Hey Joe, you could have been managing this team and you wouldn't have to worry about it. See what happens when you say "no" to the Orioles?
Did we wake up in the Bizarro World? Does Cesar Izturis really have three straight multi-hit games?
Too bad the guy can't field.
Seriously, Izturis must be pushing to take over the leadoff duties. Somebody else needs a turn.
Al Bumbry's kid is playing in Delmarva.